Superman Returns

"Superman Returns" is an odd remake. It purposely tries to recreate much of the first movie with Christopher Reeves. In fact, the actor portraying Superman resembles Reeves, especially when he is Clark Kent. The other interesting aspect of the remake is that it had no purpose except to display an amazing array of special effects. We do not learn anything new about Superman or realize any insight into his character. Instead, we are presented with a laughable one dimensional character who wears an infantile suit and floats around like a pixie. I really wish that Superman had not returned. Everything that was good and entertaining about this movie did not involve the man of steel.

To be sure, despite the horrible acting and the terrible story (which I will deal with in a moment), the special effects are astounding---the best that I have seen since Peter Jackson's "King Kong." The movie begins with a long (and I mean long) credit sequence. The audience takes a very impressive ride through space, dodging asteroids, circling planets, and escaping black holes. But even though this sequence is enjoyable, what the hell does it have to do with Superman? Some guesses: He is from a planet far away. He often takes a sojourn into space. The closet reason I can figure for the space odyssey is to demonstrate Superman's trip back to Krypton. The opening premise of the movie is that scientists found the remains of Krypton and Superman leaves his life with Lois Lane in search for his home planet. After finding nothing, Superman returns to earth and finds that Metropolis has gone haywire. Lex Luthor was let out of jail because Superman was not in court to testify against him (I will not even discuss the myriad of legal questions this plotline raises). Lois Lane has been seeing another guy and has a child. Thus, even though the yellow sun of the earth makes Superman impenetrable to all earthly obstacles, he still must struggle with love, intimacy, and life choices. Yawn.

Lex Luthor was played by Kevin Spacey, the star of excellent films like "The Usual Suspects" and "American Beauty." Spacey does a very decent and often good portrayal of Luthor. However, as Johnny Depp discovered in "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory," it is damn near impossible to play a character that was depicted perfectly the first time. Depp did not compare to Gene Wilder's dark Willy Wonka. Likewise, Spacey, although good, does not compare to Gene Hackman's Luthor in the original films. The trick to playing a good villain is that you have to be diabolical as well as likeable, the best example being Hannibal Lecter from "The Silence of the Lambs." Gene Hackman played Luthor as an arrogant genius who was so idiosyncratic that he became almost comical. Spacey played Luthor too straight, which makes us dislike him. Arrogance with no self-deprecation creates animosity. We see Spacey's intelligence, but we do not see his resolve or his humanity.

Luthor and his Otis-like female companion, played by Parker Posey, hatch a new plot to control the world and defeat Superman. After somehow discovering Superman's Fortress of Solitude in the Arctic, Luthor finds magic crystals which he somehow knows how to use. He plans to drop the crystals in the Atlantic Ocean and create a new continent from a chemical reaction. The land mass will displace water which will flood the USA and Europe. According to Luthor, people will flock to his continent to buy real estate and he will become rich enough to control the world. Best of all, the island will be partially made of Kryptonite, which will chase off any signs of Superman.

I had two problems with the plot. First, why does Luthor assume that people will want to inhabit a jagged Krypton-like land mass full of stalagmites and stalactites. Beautiful beach front property? I think not. Second, despite the overestimation of how many people will flock to Luthor's Island, the Kryptonite land idea is very good. Luthor, as well as other criminals, will never have to deal with Superman again! My problem with this realization is that the plan does not work. Moreover, after seeing "Superman Returns," I really have to wonder if Kryptonite can actually kill Superman. In the movie, Superman flies onto the island, is stabbed in the gut with jagged Kryptonite, falls into water for 10 minutes, and lifts the island of Krytonite into space at the finale. Here's my question: how then does Kryptonite kill Superman? How long does it take? Luthor stabbed him with Kryptonite for crying out loud! What more do you have to do?

The worst plotline of the film was not Luthor's plan; it was every segment involving Lois Lane and Superman. Again, the actress playing the frisky reporter could not stand up to Margot Kidder's performance in the first film. Likewise, the no-name actor playing Superman really perturbed me as well. Is Superman supposed to be a pretty boy? I did not sense strength and power from Superman (as portrayed by Christopher Reeves). I sensed weakness, artfulness, and oversensitivity. Superman did not fly like a speeding bullet. He loitered in the air like a hummingbird. At a time when comic book movies are being taken seriously,"Superman Returns" needed a strong actor to play the lead role---someone who has the charisma and ability to embody the superhero's talents and mystique.

My final quip is the love story between Superman and Lois Lane. I understand why Batman maintains love interests. He is human and has an aura of dark mystery. In contrast, Superman is an alien with powers that exceed those of humanity. He wears bright colored pajamas and has no witty phrases or mystery to make him attractive. Superman is an outcast, a loner, a hermit. I do not understand why Superman would need a woman (would he not become frustrated with their frail human form?) and why any woman would want Superman. In "Superman Returns," Superman's lust and love produce a child. Apparently, it is possible to pass on the "I'm super under the yellow sun" gene. It is also clear that although Superman is an alien with a different genetic makeup, he can easily impregnate an earth woman. Scientific? NO. Entertaining? NO. Unnecessary? YES!

Oh yeah---one final point of annoyance. And I am very annoyed by the fact that no one, even upon speculation, can figure out that Superman and Clark Kent are the same person. Glasses and a different hairstyle really make the difference.

In the end, it is worth the ticket price to see "Superman Returns" (especially on IMAX) just for three action sequences: the beginning, a plane crash scene, and Lex Luthor's continental exploits. However, take notice that Superman was not present for two of the sequences. In the plane crash scene, although he did save the passengers by flying them to safety, we would have been just as entertained if it had crashed. "Superman Returns" is a good no-brainer, summer action movie.

3.2 (special effects played a huge role in this rating)